Super AIi,
I don't see you waIking much. -It ain't true.
Shut up!
It's time to teach both ofyou a Iesson.
I won't do that ifI was you.
You better step back, Iet me bust a cap in your ass.
This is my neigbourhood, and these girIs beIong to me.
''BeIong?'' That's is a very sexiest word to taIked about these bitches
Bonjour, J'ai ma appeIIe AIi.
You made me used my Iast tissue.
Me ain't got enough one for now.
You what?
Speak to the ass cause it face is not Iistening.
Remember, Iife is the most precious gift.
That the chance has given us.
UnIucky.
You saved us.
Ijust reaIIy want to thank you.
That's gonna need the two ofus.
Let me heIp you with that.
Thank you very much.
Oh, Two part no.
What ever.
Yeah baby.
PIay with the baIIs.
Good dog.
AIi? Are you awake?
Who are you?
AIi Patty, do you know how Iate it is?
And you are stiII in bed aII asIeep.
Is nice to get up in the morning...
Prepare to stay in bed.
AIi is not nice to pIay with yourbaIIs not in the room.
Come on, you're teaching your cIass today
Oh wicked.
Respect.
So? What going down in Staines town my niggers?
Yeah nigger, we'rejust coId chiIIing, kicking, back sucking
Up some gin andjuice Iaid back. -Laid back?
Juicy, are you wearing green?
I knew it, use the effect to the pussy ini'it?
Come on, Iet's stop him.
No wait,
My mum put my yeIIow top in the wash.
My brotherbIue footbaII socks even thought they ain't coIouffast
AIright, but you teII that sIack they ain't ghetto.
Washing no coIousfast in 60 degree.
CouId cost you yourIife.
WiII you boys move?
I toId you before is a fire risk.
Yeah, yeak, yeah, yeah my brother what's it about?
We'rejust brother chiIIing out.
ReIaxing, tax him boom!
Move!
We'rejust sitting on the bench.
The East Staines Muffers.
Is ifno West Staines Muffers outside There's Ieisure center.
East side is the best.
West side is the best.
East side is the best.
West side is the best.
East side is the best.
Anyway, you are not that tough.
Once you pass the bubbIe bee day nursery
Just before you get to mini roundabout. you know the kindergarten
You're in the West side. We don't care.
Yourmama is so fat.
That way she brought the cages at the zoo.
PeopIe never waIked up by herand say
Look at that hippopotamus.
That ain't fair.
Is AngIeo
Let's Ieave these buttesy boys.
SIow down!
Stop!
FoIIow the East boys!
FIippin' Iunic, he's going to get himseIfkiII.
Yeah, yeah, is LAPD man.
Yeah and?
Come, you are my man.
I'm feeIin' there. -You roke in it
I'm feeIing it.
I'm checkin' it.
I'm doing it.
I'm feeIing it.
I'm kissing it.
I'm checking it.
Nice.
Wicked.
Wait a sec, I'm going to be Iate formy cIass.
Crack, cocaine is destroying our community
So when a brotherkeep it fuII, they deserve ourrespect.
So Iet's pick it out forDarren,
Who'd been cIeaned and off the crap now for 8 years.
18 and 3 quarteryears. -What ever.
You don't want to say this but...
Most ofyou aren't nevergonna see 11
Look he's crying.
Hey! We have none ofthis Ianguage here.
The word is buffy boy.
Later!
Now everybody up.
Cos is time to sweep ourbadges.
First. pick it out for formain man,
Andy. Who finaIIy got his hot wiring badge.
And his advanced wearing badge.
Shity your dog's cock.
Respect
And since you got fifth badge.
You'II aIso earn your fit and sIick.
HopefuIIy one day you'II get to be Zoro's IeveI
Zoro ,ifyou get any better Wiss gonna have to start doing you pubes
I don't have any. -WeII, I have a miIIion.
Remember with out rudeness. We're nothing
So Puffy. keep it reaI.
Keep it reaI.
Now on thte street, you have got to know yourhomey
WiII take a cap in the ass foryou.
So Iet's start with a very basic trust exercise.
One, two, three.
AIi, can I have a word?
Sure.
Is about the senator.
Now, I know how much these cIasses mean to you
And how much the kids enjoy them.
But I'm afraid the goverment withdrawn funding
They're cIosing down the center.
You what?
How these kids gonna make out the ghetto now?
You have to go somewhere eIse.
Something eIse? You know how much the centre mean to them
And to me.
This is the spirituaI own ofthe West's max
This is Iike what Mecca is to thejews.
Is Iike what kentucky is to chicken.
And it was here when I first feIt my JuIie.
AIi, there's nothing you can do.
Now, you bettergo and teII the kids.
I'II neverIet them gonna cIose us down.
Keep it reaI, yeah?
The Begium prime minister briefing in haIfan hour
And the deputyprime minister urgentIy wishes to speak to you
Have you got the poIIs resuIt yet?
Excuse me.
I wish I haven't.
He's putting 22 points behide.
What about Marrice? -23 points behide.
The U foIks deserving us in droves
Our foIk injust out oftouch
Maybe we are, you know I am
Don't be ridicuIous. -Are we gonna Iose this?
No chance we haven't Iost it in 20 years.
We're not going to start now.
Wejust have an image probIem.
We have to find the candidate who wiII improve that image
Somebody young.
Somebody authentic.
Somebody in touch.
ExactIy. -That's absoIutIey right David.
We have to find an outstanding candidate.
Who's inteIIectuaIIy superior.
Who can guarantee us victory.
Is JuIie about? -She's upstair.
HeIIo baby, I'm missing you so much today
You're are so fine.... AII I want to do...
AIi!
Oh. HeIIo my JuIie.
Stop feeIing up Nena and get in here.
Sorry I got confused.
Strange, you neverget confuse with Tracey.
HeIIo AIi.
HeIIo. You know you use me bitch.
Lady, when I cIose my eyes you're the onIy girI I ever think about
AIi, open your eyes.
Sorry, there was something in them.
Because there're these flees going on.
And the two ofthem coming in again.
And caught in my eyes.
AIi, you have been a very bad boy you need to be punish.
Are you a bad boy?
My skin is so dry.
So be a bad boy. I want you to rub oiI into me.
Pay speciaI attention to my breast and my back
Okay, I wiII do that.
But first I want you to take yourhat off.
You naughty. Naughty boy.
But I never take my hat off.
You take that off and I'II take these off.
Okay.
Now, I'm going to miIk you.
AIi.
Give me one more second.
Behave.
J. Lo, they're cIosing down the center.
So I'm on hungerstrike untiI they save it or untiI I die.
Sojust in case untiI Ijoin two pack biggie ghetto in the sky
I'II come here to bunk you one Iast time.
I think MrJohnson might have something to say about that.
Can not.
I ain't got no probIem with that, is you
AIi...
Don't do nothing stupid aIright.
In and out, she ain't reaIIy my JuIie.
ObviousIy in reaI Iife I'm going out with some one much fitter
But they do that to make accessibIe.
Which mean you go out there which you think I wiII nob you
Okay, you got 10 seconds to eat them AIi.
Okay and go.
Mr G, why are you on hungerstrike?
In struggIe forinjustice.
And I'm wiIIing to Iaid down my Iife.
Just Iike Martine Luther.
This is IocaIparty chainman. AIan Swan.
He'd been putting togethera Iist ofnames for the eIection
This is a great honour... particuIaradmiraI.
My name is Swan. -Right.
WeII...there're 3 reaIIy outstanding candidate in my criteraI area
Top ofthe Iist is Andrew Hammington
PTH poIiticaI science. Gain a star first.
Have you tried these new chicken dippers.
They're quite good aren't they?
Oh yeah, they're reaIIy good.
What sauce you got in?
I think is barbecue.
Take it, I can't take it.
Chicken dipper!
Oh nip. -I'II get the key.
Starting again... from now!
No.
WeII, what have we got here then?
I'm doing a series ofprotest ifyou don't mind.
WeII in that case, we'II Ieave you to it.
Thanks.
Just one thing though.
Look here now, Iook here now.
You fifty animaI.
PHD encomy. 3 years at Havard Age 34.
Swan is there any reason why there's an observeIy dressed
HaIfnaked man chained to a fence being tossed offby an oId counciI?
Ignore him. He making some pathetic protest.
Have him unchain, and bring him in here.
I'm trying to... -Bring him in Swan.
Straight ahead at top ofthe stair.
Let me do aII the things. You want me to do...
Cut it cut baby, I want to get freaky with you.
I'm Kate Hedges the deputy prime ministerprivate secretary
Come in and you can puII yourpant up now
HeIIo I'm David CarIeton the deput Prime minister
HeIIo, I'm AIi G. The dominating M.C.
Making bitches touch put on me.
The numberafter two it'II be... - Three.
NotAIiA, notAIi B, notAIi C, notAIi D, notAIi...
E notAIi...
F butAIi... -G
Pro, you are tight for the Honkies.
That's his fuII name and address.
TeII me AIi, do you have ajob?
UnfortunateIy recentIy, I've been made on the doIe.
Funny when?
8 years and few months ago.
Just here you cIaimed disabiIity benefit are you...
Yeah, I am spasticated.
I got terribIe D.J injuries.
I stiII ain't got fuII abiIity on my main mixing finger.
Down there is stiII working, oh yeah.
AIi. wouId you sit down. PIease sit down
Have you ever consider ofbecoming a memberat the parIiament
Why do I want to do that for?. Is fuII ofpricks.
That's a IittIe harsh. I'm a M.P am I a prick?
Yes.
Let's try approaching this from an different angIe.
Is there nothing in the worId you'd Iike to change Staines?
Yes, to save my Ieisure center.
ObviousIy...
M.P can heIp you achieve that.
WouId you stand as our candidate for our eIection?
I got to be honest. Me ain't actuaIIy bind.
I mean, I done it with two girIs.
I seen it on the internet. Me actuaIIy never feeI comfortabIe
Me being bump by a man. Or even bumping a man.
I know a Iot ofpeopIe said neversay ever.
But me feeI so strong to my exit ocean. AIway stay at my exit hoIe
Neverbecome an entry.
You don't understand? -Yes.
Yes, Is been a pIeasure meeting you.
Latersweetheart.
David, what are you doing?
He was the biggest idiot I've evermet. Choose someone
That's no way to win the eIection.. -I know
There'II be a Ieadership crisis ofvotes wiII no confidence.
The P.M wiII be out.
And who couIdpossibIy repIace it?
AIi, has 2 week to Iose his 18 thousand votes
Let's get him on the campaign triaI.
My name is AIi G and we're represented fans.
Ifyou want to know we can count your votes
What do you say? -DefiniteIy not.
Get him off.
WeII, here's the idea to interest you in the vote
Finest rock and bIack wiII I?
Steve, see what's in the Ietterbox.
OurbuIIyprogramme has one phrase through out the county
The buIIying in this schooI aII time known.
This is Jonathan who used to suffered terribIy at the ham ofbuIIies
I ain't surprised. Look at him.
Hey fatty boom, boom.
Fatty Boom, boom.
Hey! You want another cream cake?
He is a IittIe fat though ain't he?
Vote forme cause me know what you Iasses want
I'm a big supporter ofyour cause.
And I got many, many ofyour videos.
Ifyou vote forme make me pIedge Iower taxes on strap on
Why are you getting so argry? You Ioan?
Ladies and gentIemens. To commemorate the extension
Ofthe town haII. We are asking aII the candidates to Iaid down
a brick. AIi we wonder whether you're good enough Iaid one
for us now.
We wouId be honoured. -In front ofeveryone?
Yeah.
Not bad.
This is absoIuteIy vitaI.
10 days ago we were 14 points ahead with one day to go
we are 8 points behide.
Listen did you get the manifesto that I sent to you?
Yes, it was very heIpfuI.
30 seconds we are on air.
WouId you Iike to come with me.
Good Iuck
Don't hoId back.
What is possibIy the most gruesome eIection ofthe past decade
We arejoined tonight by ex-enviroment secretary andpoIiticaI
heavy weight. David Griffn and newcomerAIi G
Ifyou haven't made yourmind up yet you wiII be done by
the end ofthis debate.
AIi, ifeIected what wouId you do the first thing?
WeII, Iet say to save the Ieisure centerain't it?
You can't suggest that yoursoIe poIicy to save a center
that is bareIy used We are terribIe drain on fund
What are your others poIicy?
My otherpoIicy?
Yes, you must have some.
WeII, I think is reaIIy important to reduce inflation
and aIso invest in nurses...
OrNHS
You're reading from my sheet.
No I ain't. I thought out these things by my seIf
You obviousIy copied from me.
It wasn't me.
Perhap you'd Iike to teII me where you stand on the ERM
No probIem.
We thought the first aIbum was Rock
And to be honest we ain't aII into music.
Quick frankIy the advertist mistake deserve betterin yourmotto
in this debate.
What? Is you Iooking in the mirror?.
What you're doing is making it obvious foraII the voters
out there what an absoIute stupid you are.
You're taIking about yourseIfagain?
You are an embarrassment to yourparty and the peopIe ofStaine
That is not a very nice way to taIk about yourmum.
I put it to you, you are the worst possibIe candidate
everput foward by yourmiserabIe party
WeII, I put it to you,
...That you sucked offa horse.
I did not umm.. sucked offa horse.
I have aIready deaIt with this issue with the party chaIIenge
And I expIained to him I was out hunting with a friend
and I sIipped on to the end ofan horse's vascuIar
Which unfortunateIy owning to the mating season was aroused
Another dramatic day in the Staines eIection unexpected draw
the opposition candidate David Griffn.
Tomorrow vote now become a two house race
between Thomas Oshar andAIi G
And the resuIt too cIose to caII.
Thomas OsharIiberty democrate 5080 votes.
AIison LesiIe Gramham -Who?
What a stupid name.
5086 votes.
You won! You made it!
AIi G has been due to eIected main group parIiament
for Staines.
Now, do you want to see the new member ofparIiament?
Look, I'm touching myseIf.
You Iie down
It'II start teIIing you on.
Not reaIIyAIi.
Oryou want to give a kiss to Mr Gurkin?
Oh baby you're so Iong and hard.
That's the hand brake.
Is it in yet?
Hey, hey I know you. You're the giz with thatpussy ain't it?
Respect.
What is he doing?
Umm...I'm not sure Prime minister.
ReIax.
Look at you.
AII you ever do is catch each other.
RESTECP. Do you even know what that speII?
Yes. Restecp.
How anyone out there meant to restecper each other
ifyou Iock in here don't even start.
Restecper one and other.
Do you know how to make our country better?.
Is simpIe, two words.
''Keep it reaI.''
That's 3 words.
That be a spastic. ''IT'' ain't no reaI word
is short forini'it.
Keep it reaI...
The member ofStaine wiII be ban from the house
What in the god name have you done to me?
Restecp?
I want that idiot in my offce first thing in the morning
Is that cIear?.
Come in.
Listen. Me no done wrong.
AIi, have you read the paper?.
I can't beIieve it?
There's a dog who can pIay tabIe tennis.
AIi is the Press, they Ioved you.
But how can they hoId it back?
AIi, the deputy Prime minister and I were wondering...
What wouId you say ifI ask you tojoin the cabinet?
No, think about it. AIijoined as the cabinet
The two ofthem are pubIic aIign together.
AIi sIipped up, and he take the crap with it.
What make you think AIi wiIIjoin?
Cause I suggested to the prime minister
To save AIi's Ieisure Center.
Are you mad...
Let me finish.
Offce to save his Ieisure center. ifAIi secured my 20 point Iead
in the poII.
Now I'm in the cabinet order, couId I Iook in the red button.
Can I trust you?
Yes. -AIright.
Now 1 touch on the red button. CouId destroy the whoIe worId.
That's a very interesting setup.
No! No! AIipIease stand away.
Can't wejust bIow up something?
Ofcourse not.
PIease? -No.
Just some where shitty Iike raiI. -AIi
I wiII caIIprime Minister 's mum a sIug.
I am the Prime Minister.
WeII, shouIdn't taIk about yourmum ain't it?
Your first cabinet meeting is next Thursday
We're going to discuss.
I'm senting you to a mission.
Anybody smuggIe anything into Britain.
Chances are they wiII come through here.
Is notjust immigrate.
Take a Iook at this.
You'II be appaI.
Look at this crap.
30 kiIos ofmarijuana
SmuggIed in from Europe, America and the middIe East.
That's terribIe.
Some scumbag manage to smuggIed in 15 kiIos ofthis
The strongest superskunk ever discovered.
Overhere is where we keep the confiscated weapons.
This next session is where we keep the mountain
ofhotpornographies mostIy from Germany
You want to Iook at this?
No! I got ajob to do.
I know. It make me feeI sick too.
WeII, afterI'm report now,
Ifyou wouIdn't mind fucking off.
Sorry sir.
They'II be senting me down a coupIe ofexperts to heIp with my research
HeIIo. We are his experts.
WeII, AIi. TeII us what did you find out in Dover?.
WeII, we saw a Iot ofstuff. Most ofit from Germany
Ofthese bIoke aII going in through the back door.
He's absoIuteIy right.
I've been to Germany and experienced it myseIf
Respect.
I remember one time there were these 2 huge African men
who managed to squeezed themseIves in to tiny box.
How Iong did they stay in there for?.
15 hours
It was incredibIy emotionaI.
Must ofhurt a Iot.
It stiII does.
Sorry.
So John, what are we gonna do about these assignment?
We can'tjust Iet them aII in.
It couId crippIe the economy.
Yes AIi?
Let's think about this right?
What is the main thing we ain't got enough ofin this country?
HospitaIs?
No.
Library?
We ain't got enough fit women. And we got to many mens.
No offense.
So why don't we Iet in the fit refugee and turn away aII the ramp ones
That way we soIve both probIems.
We are heIping two birds with one economy.
What do you think?
Wait.
Back to the back.
Education standard are in theirIowest in 15 years.
That is because kids is Iearning stuff that is no use to them.
I mean who here ever use map?
OrEngIish.
Let's start making education reIevent.
AIi, the situation in Northern IsIand is threathing to spark
out aII controI.
The onIy way to get the indo to stop kiIIing IsIams
What ever.
Is to get some reaIIy fit women get them out forpeace.
Prime Minister. -Not you Iove.
The army is costing the tax 4.2 biIIion pound a year
How does the government intend to give this figure?
We are gonna to higher the 18.
May I introduce you to AIi G.
You Iook much fitterin those coins.
TeII you next time I put a 50 pence coin in mypocket
You feeI honoured having your head some cIose to my nuts.
Thejob figure is at their highest IeveI.
This country has a speciaI reIationship with the United State
What do you think ofBush?
Me Iove Bush.
Oh my gosh.
As in 12 o'cIock.
AIIprisoner wiII be free.
To discourage the use, there wiII be a Iever25 pences on pound on panties
This wiII excIude foams.
As for the heatIh service.
Marjuana wiII be made avaiIabIe on the NHS
Treatments ofchronic diseases.
Such as itches grotch.
Furthermore
I am a beII-end
''I Iike to take up the back. Yes, it feeI very nice.
And is my favorite.
I used to be a girI and wearnitts
Honest, ask my mum''
Just because you buy me a fancy flock that's 3 month ofmy rent.
Me know.
Listen AIi, I ain't been to nothing Iike this before
don't Ieave me on my own tonight aIright?
Don't worry baby.
This is my JuIie.
This is President Waterna from ThaiIand
It is a honour to meet you.
I present this.
AIi, Iet's move aIong.
I wiII go and get you some nice crayons
ShouId we carry on.
It is nice to meet you.
Get offyour...!
AIi...
Bonjour.
My JuIie.
JuIie.
HeIIo?
What are you doing up here with me?
Why don't you stay downstair with thatpush girI?
We werejust taIking aboutpoIitic.
I ain't interested in what you got to say?
We won't speak no more.
You reaIIy are a prank.
We can't. This is the P.M's bedroom.
WeII?
Why don't you pretend to be the prime minister
Cheeky?
Ladies and gentIemen...
In advanced ofthe summit
I shaII be having private taIkwith both parties
So first President.
WouId you go upstair?. -MypIeasure
Thank you.
I must say I enjoyed that.
So did I.
I'm so gIad we trashed out.
Ladies and gentIemen MrPresident is a very big man
I wouId Iike you to know that Prime Minister
was very hot.
but very straight.
The President here is very top to start offwith
and I'm teIIing you I was in a deep hoIe
Oh very deep.
Yes, even thought we had some stickypatches
I'm deIighted to say we came together finaIIy together
Yes, I Iove everything you Iike to offer
MrPresident wouId you Iike tojoin me upstair?.
No bIoody way.
Can I come?
Come on AIi, Iet's go home.
I couId give up your favour.
Yeah. butterscotch.
This bit is for the girI. To show they can be weII sensitive
By the way ifany ofyou bitches is fit and in to doggie
and here is my mobiIe number.
CaIIers must be over 16.
But not by too much obviousIy.
I can't.
They need me at the peace conference tomorrow
You what?
What about the peopIe who reaIIy need you?
What about Ricky?
What about Dave?
What about me AIi?
PIease come back to Staine.
The worId is bigger then Staine.
And me got to save it.
WeII, you got to do it on your own then.
JuIie? JuIie?
We got to get rid ofhim before the bIood centersaved
What I thought... -You thought?
The United State wiII do anything in his power
to support Chad in a stuggIe against in his favour.
Russia wiII not aIIowed this to continue
They're aII breaking up. PIease heIp me.
United State wiII not be imated
We are prepare to meet the course with our fuII miIitary
The oId hasn't fed their tea.
Come on, choppy chop.
Moving to emotion aII those in favour senting to the gas station
to get some potatoes chips and chocoIate
raise yourhand.
Oh bummer.
Who cares? Is aII in the past.
IfI was going to invaded by anyone
I am happy it was you.
You are reaIIy cooI. You are nice and cIose
Put up the herbaI tea.
Hate yourBritain.
Respect.
How doe he do it?
You know we're pIotting a team AIi.
Thank to you we are 22 points ahead.
I'm going to save that center ofyours.
There foryou AIi.
This is yourmoment.
When you come to accusation you drugged the Ieader ofthe worId?
You what?
We have evidence to prove you guiIty.
WeII we have evidence to have you guiIty.
This isjust chiIdIish.
Are you empIoyed tatact meaning criminated further
This bag was sent to my offce this morning
Do you denied to stoIe from the custom and extiIe
That couId be anyone.
Nothing to do with me, come on.
That got a code.
I was actuaIIy touching cIoths.
AIi!
Oh dear. There you go yourIeisure center.
CIearyour desk before you go.
Prime minister.
Mum?
Can I borrow your car?.
Having a bad day?
Maybe I couId heIp.
It is nippy outside?
Very.
What it is you doing here?
Let me show you.
So today main news again.
The prime ministerhas resigned aftera discovering a video tape
from a security camera showing him having sexuaI intercourse
with a unknown prostitute
That ain't no prostitute that's my hoIe
As off 11o'cIock this morning the deputyprime minister
David Griffn wiII be acting Prime minister.
That ain't fair. That ain't the P.M
Why they didn't show the rest ofthe tape.
UnfortuniteIy my boss has Iocked in the safe
at his new offce at Chequer, that's where it's stayin'.
You won't get away with this.
You keep yourmonth shut.
David wiII be very generous.
I'm wiIIing to be very generous.
AII is you have to do is keep yourmouth shut.
I'm heating up my engine AIi.
FiII me with petroI.
I'm going to pump you with my 5000cc.
Let me see yournozzIe.
What?
You want to see my nob?
AIright.
Give me your fueI injection.
No one caIIed my JuIie a sIag.
Come to mama.
Take them off.
This ain't right.
Here set it to vibrator. Finish yourseIfoff.
Open up, open up.
Everyone on teIe is caIIing my JuIie a sIag.
Nothing. -Anyway itprove that she ain't
We can restart my F.M.
Drive my F.M is back on their own
This is drive back F.M
The sound ofthe getto coming to you .
What was that?
HeIicopter.
To the gangsters. There's some serious shit going down
The prime minister, check it.
has been chunk out but the geezer
who is a massive dun.
He is even more eviIIy. Then skeIeton.
To get the P.M back in.
We need to get over this tape.
Ifyou heIp me rescue this video we can save the country.
Let's put down yourA.Ks
Laid down your ogIes.
And unite into one massive, massive
Put up the East Staines. Massive.
Is youjoin up. Tonight is prepare to hand over.
ActuaIIy that's a bit earIy. Can we make it 12?
Sorry I was Iate.
But there was something on teIe about monkey...
Respect foraII ofyou for wearing your camouflage
You wiII go under detected.
No Iet's go to Chequer' and rescue the tape.
Let's do this forBritain.
Let's do this formy JuIie.
And Iet's do this forhip hop.
I've drawn up a detaiIedpIan ofchecker.
The tape is in the P.M offce in the safe.
First up, Ricky, Dave and me wiII go in.
Jessie, you'II stay here.
We'II be Iike the 8th team.
But I'm very much Iike him.
You Iot stay here.
And bIend in to the nature.
Then when it get dark. You wiII make the secret signaI
Let's go.
At thatpoint you wiII tune in aII yourradio
in the baddiest station and turn up the voIume to the max
PIease bring out the guard.
And at thatpoint you wiII use your cunning to overpower them
Sir?. -What the heII is going on?
I want maximum security. ControI the house.
Great hoIe is exactIy Iike the one in Lara Croft's house
You know in Tomb raiderin pIaystation.
Dave ifyou run at the piIIar. It'II take us through the waterkingdom
And on to the next IeveI.
Ifforsome reason it don't work. We must find a way
to cross the ''touch sensitive floor''
and ifwe Ieft our feet up at aII
Is nothing. We keep on Iooking
Next up, you go to go through the Iaserroom
Dave, you wiII use the speciaI skiII to pass through.
Rememberifyou break any ofthese beam
You wiII set the aIarm off.
Be extra carefuI. Now Iet's do it.
This must be the P.M offce.
The tape is in there.
Intruders in my offce this is a terrorattack.
Shoot on site. Repeat, shoot on site.
The safe. Open that.
Behide you!
HoId on, I thought you couIdn't speak
Is not reaIIy that, I've aIways been very embarrassed about my voice
AIright, don't go on about it.
Stop giving it aII that.
Now ifwe interrupt yourIife story for once for one second
Get the safe open.
No. I got it.
Why don't we Iink up aII the batteries ofaII the cars outside
and transfer eIectricaI current forhuman chain
and bIow these mother open.
We won't get eIectrocuted.
We'II bIow the batteries. -We won't get frie as Iong as the chain
don't break cause we aII wearing rubbersoIe trainers ain't it?
I got a D in phsyic you know.
No B82rez.
It was trained to save time.
Switch on the engine pass it on.
Your voice. Switch on the engine pass it on.
Back to the pension, suck my door.
What?
ShaII I turn the engine on?
Yeah.
What are you doing? -I can't heIp it
No!
Peace. -Peace.
What you taIking about? -Look foryourseIf
AII is some photographes
And some...
They are extending the airport.
That's mean they are going to destroy Staines.
And they're starting in 3 hours.
2 hours 50 minutes to be precise.
Why do you have to buiIt? -Because I have buiId 680
Iands there. Can I have those pIease?
But don't try escaping from here.
And I have forgotten to put on the airsuppIy.
Why don't you nip outside now and cIick it on?
You are unbeIieveabIe stupid.
Hey!
What? -Give me those pIans.
Or what? -OrnippIe crippIe that's what.
You hit me in the nose you fucking nuts
I ain't being funny you shouId Iook behide you
cos there's thousandpoIice offcers behide you
Look, Iook behide you. There's JenniferLopez.
You want to boom in the second because you're feeIing so horny
Look.
Are you gonna hit me again?
Now I'm going to shoot you.
This is from the peopIe ofStaines.
I think I foIIowed through.
Me JuIie, are you there?
Me must know what you think ofme.
I've been a piece ofnob cheese.
But me got to save Staines.
And I shact myseIf.
Shit! Rick and Dave.
Ricky?
We thought we were going to die so we thought we'II give it a go.
WeII, what's it Iike?
Not bad you know.
Dave? -Quite nice actuaIIy.
We'II taIk about this Iater.
Now we got to save Staine.
2 minutes in the car. -Be quick.
You don't want to finish up inside.
I wouIdn't do that ifI was you.
AIi! I Iove you!
JuIie!
HeIIo.
Ignore them and start.
Don't Iisten to him.
He's a criminaI. Not even a good kind
He seIIs drugs wiII do...
I have proofthat he's trying to destroy Staines
So what?
Arrest them. -Oh shit.
He's going tojaiI.
Everyday for the next 20 years they're going to get bump in the shower
HoId them. ReIease them.
In case you forgotten I'm the acting prime minister
You are a disgrace one.
Disgrace by you.
And this tape proofit.
Kate. -No David.
When I first enterpoIitic.
It was to create a better worId.
A worId ofhonestIy and truth.
But someway aIong the way this visuaI was Iost.
My dream was tornish. Instead I discovergreed
Boring...
Arrest them.
Enjoy yourIife with this fooI.
You two deserve each other.
We're not going buiId terminaI over Staines
As a right now I'm going to need a deputyprime minister
As a favour ofbeing my right hand man.
Right hand man.
What do you sayAIi? -I shown you the way.
We have to carry thejourney by yourseIfnow
As to me I wiII stick to myposses.
And my bitch... I mean my Iady.
-The end-